SpongeBob Square Pants to the rescue!

Jet Skier Eric Bettanin survived nine hours adrift off Australia’s South Coast, and he’s crediting his loud, yellow SpongeBob shorts for the feat. He wore the “silly” shorts around his head to keep warm, and waved them at a passing boat to finally be rescued.

“As silly as it sounds, they made quite a significant difference to my core temperature,” Bettanin said. “I bought them the other day as a bit of a joke.”

Canada was prepared for terrorists — but it wasn’t prepared for mollusks.

The Canadian navy tried to protect the harbor in Halifax from attack by putting up a huge underwater net that would keep bomb-laden terrorist boats from getting near ships and exploding.

The plan failed miserably, however, when the net became covered with so many mussels and barnacles that it sank to the bottom.

This law is for the dogs!

The San Francisco Board of Supervisors passed a new ordinance calling for professional dogwalkers handing four or more pooches at once to be licensed.

Beginning next Jan. 1 (2013), dogwalking pros will also be required to complete training in park etiquette for dogs and canine first aid.

The real reason for her weight loss..

An Englishwoman, who shed 84 pounds after getting gastric-bypass surgery was shocked to find out the real reason for her weight loss.

Karren Knight started to exercise after her surgery, and it turned out her stomach band broke soon after the operation, so she did it all on her own.

“I thought surgery was an easy way to lose weight,” she said.

“But . . . all it took was a bit of determination.”

With friends like this guy, you don’t need enemies — but you might need insurance.

A Florida man has been charged with grand theft after he was asked to house- sit — then allegedly pawned $10,000 worth of his pal’s possessions.

From The New York Post.