The following is an excerpt from OpinionJournal.com’s “Best of the Web” written by the editor, James Taranto.

That’ll Teach ‘Em
“Syrian Official Wedding Invitation Withdrawn”–headline, Sky News website, April 28

Why Is a Baseball Player Doing Scott Walker’s Job?
“Brewer Signs 33 Bills Into Law, Vetoes 2”–headline, Arizona Republic, April 26

Bottom Stories of the Day

  • “Royal Wedding Won’t Pre-Empt Local News”–headline, Enquirer website (Cincinnati), April 28
  • “Comments Made by Carter Stir Consternation”–headline, Korea JoonAng Daily, April 27
  • “Trouble Brewing Between Palestinians and Israelis”–headline, Ha’aretz (Israel), April 26 

Animal Crackers
The editors of a new academic journal called Animal Ethics hope to introduce a new vocabulary of politically correct jargon, London’s Daily Telegraph reports:

Domestic dogs, cats, hamsters or budgerigars should be rebranded as “companion animals” while owners should be known as “human carers,” they insist.

Even terms such as wildlife are dismissed as insulting to the animals concerned–who should instead be known as “free-living,” the academics including an Oxford professor suggest. . . .

“Despite its prevalence, ‘pets’ is surely a derogatory term both of the animals concerned and their human carers,” the editorial claims.

“Again the word ‘owners’, whilst technically correct in law, harks back to a previous age when animals were regarded as just that: property, machines or things to use without moral constraint.” . . .

Phrases such as “sly as a fox, “eat like a pig” or “drunk as a skunk” are all unfair to animals, they claim.

We’ll refrain from observing that these guys sound dumb as a rock, lest the editors of Mineral Ethics have a cow.

For more “Best of the Web” click here and look for thef “Best of the Web Today” link in the middle column below “Today’s Columnists.”