The following is an excerpt from OpinionJournal.com’s “Best of the Web” written by the editor, James Taranto.

Shortest Books Ever Written
“Chinese Workers’ Rights”–headline, New York Times website, Feb. 8

You Call That Fair and Balanced?
“Fox Attacks 4-Week-Old Baby Boy at London Home”–headline, St. Louis Post-Dispatch, Feb. 10

Questions Nobody Is Asking

  • “After Ron Paul, Then What?”–headline, New York Times, Feb. 10
  • “Will the Next Pope Be From Canada?”–headline, National Review Online, Feb. 11

Man Bites Dog–Now That Would Be News
“Dog Bites Man–a Lot”–headline, Arizona Daily Star (Tucson), Feb. 10

Look Out Below!
“French Communist Party Drops Hammer and Sickle”–headline, France24.com, Feb. 9

Everything Seemingly Is Spinning Out of Control 
“John Kerry Refuses to Speak French at News Conference”–headline, BBC website, Feb. 8

News of the Tautological

  • “In Nigeria, You’re Either Somebody or Nobody”–headline, New York Times, Feb. 10
  • “Indian Authorities Blame Crowds for Stampede”–headline, WSJ.com, Feb. 11

Bottom Stories of the Day”
Bribes Increase in Afghanistan, U.N. Says”–headline, New York Times, Feb. 8

Squirt Guns Don’t Squirt People, People Squirt People
The New York Times reports on the problem of toy guns. Although they are, as the reporter keenly notes, “not actual guns,” they “have some parents mulling what to say when their children reach for the toy holster”:

“I have no idea what I’m going to do when he asks for one,” said Brooke Berman, a New York writer with a 2-year-old boy.

“My initial impulse is to say: ‘No. We don’t play with guns. They’re not toys.’ But then, the fact is, they are toys.”

Sometimes people wonder why we love living in New York. But really, where else in America does one have such sophisticated neighbors?

For more “Best of the Web” click here and look for the “Best of the Web Today” link in the middle column below “Today’s Columnists.”