The following is an excerpt from OpinionJournal.com’s “Best of the Web” written by the editor, James Taranto.

bratwurstBut It Wouldn’t Talk
“Illinois Volunteers Grill 100-Foot-Long Bratwurst”–headline, Associated Press, Sept. 11

#firstworldproblems

  • “Pre-Distressed Jeans Are Inhumane”–headline, Chicago Tribune, Sept. 11
  • “Organic Coffee Threatened by Global Warming-Stoked Fungus”–headline, Bloomberg, Sept. 11

Breaking News From 1889

“Rapid City Sees Earliest Snowfall Since 1888”–headline, Argus Leader (Sioux Falls, S.D.), Sept. 11

Pop In Jay
CNN has signed Jay Carney, the former White House press secretary, as a political analyst, and he made his debut yesterday by doing an interview with Wolf Blitzer. Here’s one of their exchanges:

Blitzer: How frustrated is the president that Middle Eastern conflict is consuming his agenda right now, after taking a victory lap by ending the wars in Iraq and Afghanistan, and after the big 2009 Cairo speech that was aimed at repairing America’s image in the world?

Carney: I don’t think he gets surprised or disappointed by the revelation that the world doesn’t bend to your will and your agenda all that willingly. It’s been the fundamental responsibility of being president, and a huge part of the job, to deal with these kind of crises overseas and potential threats to the United States. I don’t think he is disappointed. I think he is realistic about the fact that there is still a lot of work he wants to get done. And he knows that the time he has left will go by pretty quickly. My guess is that he realizes that the absolute necessity of dealing with the Islamic State, and with the situation in Ukraine, reduces the amount of time and focus he can put on other topics. But it’s not really a choice for him. You don’t have the choice you just have to do it.

So his new job is pretty much the same as his old one, except that the questions are easier.

For more “Best of the Web” click here and look for the “Best of the Web Today” link in the middle column below “Today’s Columnists.”