The following is an excerpt from OpinionJournal.com’s “Best of the Web” written by the editor, James Taranto.

Breaking News From 1861
“Call Issued for Civil War Volunteers”–headline, Associated Press, March 28

Questions Nobody Is Asking
“Opinion: Are We Really Ready for a Better Ketchup Packet?”–headline, AOLNews.com, March 26

It’s Always in the Last Place You Look
“Ancient Doorway to Afterlife Discovered in Egypt”–headline, Agence France-Presse, March 29

Great Moments in Socialized Medicine
The Montreal Gazette reports from a “thinkers’ conference” held by Canada’s opposition Liberal Party:

In a morning session on health care the conference was told that Canadians and their governments must face up to some hard facts and have “an adult conversation” about the future of the country’s health care system.

The advice came from David Dodge, the past governor of the Bank of Canada and former deputy finance minister who said medicare costs will inevitably rise in coming years at a greater rate than government revenues and the country’s gross domestic product, and require some unpalatable choices to be made.

Choices he suggested include new taxes specifically dedicated for health care or a steady reduction in the scope and quality of services provided by the public health system that would require people to either pay for private care themselves or suffer ever greater wait times for service in the public system.

“These are stark and unpalatable choices that we face with respect to health care, but there is no magic solution,” he said. “We absolutely must have an adult debate about how we deal with this. Finding solutions in this area is extraordinarily difficult, but it is imperative.”

No magic solution? Dude, haven’t you heard of Barack Obama? He just signed a law that will reduce the deficit by giving totally awesome health care to all Americans! Why don’t they just pass a similar law up north? What’s the matter with Canada? 

For more “Best of the Web” click here and look for the “Best of the Web Today” link in the middle column below “Today’s Columnists.