The following is an excerpt from OpinionJournal.com’s “Best of the Web” written by the editor, James Taranto.

NOTE: James Taranto is on vacation.  The excerpt below is from the April 3, 2009 BOTW archives.

Enough Sauce to Last Till Thanksgiving 2034
“Cranberry Supervisors Approve Long-Range Plan”–headline, Pittsburgh Post-Gazette, April 3 

Bottom Stories of the Day

  • “Old, Damaged Utility Pole Taken Down”–headline, Atlanta Journal-Constitution, April 3
  • “Jail Basement Dryer Ignites; No One Hurt”–headline, El Paso Times, April 3
  • “Ants Forage Haphazardly”–headline, LiveScience.com, March 30
  • “Canadian PM Denies Toilet Break During Photo Op”–headline, CNN.com, April 2
  • “Research Shows Whites Lacking on Recent Final Four Basketball Teams”–headline, Orlando Sentinel, April 3

For more “Best of the Web” click here and look for the “Best of the Web Today” link in the middle column below “Today’s Columnists.