The following is an excerpt from OpinionJournal.com’s “Best of the Web” written by the editor, James Taranto.

image1278At Least It Didn’t Fill Up on the Rolls 
“The Dog Ate My Aston Martin”–headline, AutoWeek.com, Feb. 5

Two Editors in One!

  • “I was going to headline this post ‘stupid things Congressmen say,’ but then I figured that would just be asking for trouble. There is not time enough in the day to fulfill the promise of that headline.”–editorial page editor Andrew Rosenthal, New York Times website, Jan. 24, 2012
  • “Use examples whenever you can. It’s better to use an example than just to use a word or an adjective that describes something. If you want to say that the mayor’s pre-K policy is wrong, explain how. Don’t say it’s just stupid. In fact, never use the word ‘stupid.’ “–Rosenthal, “How to Write an Editorial” video, Times website, Feb. 6, 2014

‘What’s an Ice Girl Like You Doing in a Place Like This?’ 
“Cold Temps Keep Icebreakers Busy Along the Bay”–headline, WTOP-FM website (Washington), Feb. 4

At Least It Didn’t Fill Up on the Rolls 
“The Dog Ate My Aston Martin”–headline, AutoWeek.com, Feb. 5

Hey, Kids! What Time Is It? 
“It’s time to stop throwing pity parties for Pluto.”–Robert Irion, Slate.com, Feb. 5

Answers to Questions Nobody Is Asking

  • “John Kerry Has ‘No Plans Whatsoever’ to Run for President in 2016”–headline, Puffington Host, Feb. 5
  • “Mitt Romney: ‘I’m Not Running’ in 2016”–headline, Politico.com, Feb. 6

Bottom Stories of the Day

  • “Rhode Island Bottleneck Could Tighten by 2022”–headline, RollCall.com, Feb. 5
  • “Celebrities Want to Tie Trade Pact to Dolphin Hunt”–headline, Associated Press, Feb. 5

Reliable Sources 
From a New York Times piece on the death of actor Philip Seymour Hoffman, apparently of a heroin overdose:

Mr. Hoffman had admitted to a drug relapse at a Narcotics Anonymous meeting in December, where a leader asked if those in attendance were counting their time sober in terms of years, months, weeks or days. Mr. Hoffman said, “I am counting days,” according to a person at the meeting who spoke on the condition of anonymity because of the group’s rules.

A pamphlet on the Narcotics Anonymous website advises: “To respect the anonymity of all of our members, we ask that people who attend our meetings not talk about who our members are or what they share in meetings.” It doesn’t sound as if the Times’s source was fully compliant with the rules.

For more “Best of the Web” click here and look for the “Best of the Web Today” link in the middle column below “Today’s Columnists.”