The following is an excerpt from OpinionJournal.com’s “Best of the Web” written by the editor, James Taranto.

Answers to Questions Nobody Is Asking
“Where L.A. Hipsters Buy Their Eyewear”–headline, Los Angeles Times, April 11

News of the Tautological

  • “Many of Haiti’s Most-Wanted on the Loose After Earthquake”–headline, Washington Post, April 9
  • “Derby Watch: Long Shots Have Little Shot”–headline, Lexington Herald-Leader, April 12

Slack Off and Don’t Be Counted
National Public Radio’s Robert Smith reports from the “hipster enclave” of Williamsburg, in Brooklyn, N.Y., that “young, recent graduates with ironic mustaches and plaid shirts are apparently too busy tweeting to fill out a simple census form.” From the transcript:

Smith: Two 20-somethings, Nate and Mike, are working behind the counter. They share an apartment and should be sharing a census form, but–

Mike: Did we get the forms?

Nate: Yeah.

Mike: We did. I didn’t see any yet.

Nate: We still get mail from the past 30 people that have lived there. So it’s like who knows if people are getting these.

Smith: Well, actually the census knows. These few blocks around Wythe Avenue and 6th Street have about a 36% return rate.

Nate Stark has an explanation.

Nate: I guess it’s laziness and like, what’s the point? When it comes down to it, nobody wants to fill out like another form that’s just like getting sent to your house that really relatively has nothing to do with your life.

Smith: He thinks the young people just haven’t been given a good enough reason to fill out the census.

Nate: I mean people would do if they got like five bucks.

Smith: Five bucks?

Nate: Yeah. Or if there was like more than just like a piece of paper that’s like you have to do this or you could get in trouble, which no one will get in trouble; that’s why they don’t do it.

.. good luck getting [these guys] into the insurance pool!

For more “Best of the Web” click here and look for the “Best of the Web Today” link in the middle column below “Today’s Columnists.