The following is an excerpt from OpinionJournal.com’s “Best of the Web” written by the editor, James Taranto.

Read My Lips. No New Taxis.
“NASA Calls for New Taxis to Fly to Space Station”–headline, Reuters, Feb. 7

Leaving 3 Empty Seats
“4 Yahoo Board Member [sic] Including Chair Leaving”–headline, Associated Press, Feb. 7

‘The Defendant Is Ordered to Take My Wife. Please.’
“Judge Orders Florida Man To Take His Wife on a Date”–headline, WTVJ-TV website (Miami), Feb. 8

These Guys Are Really Lost
“The Russian team hit the lake Sunday at the depth of 12,366 feet (3,769 meters) about 800 miles (1,300 kilometers) southeast of the South Pole in the central part of the continent.”–Associated Press, Feb. 8

Bottom Stories of the Day
“Dolphin Strandings Offer Few Clues”–headline, Boston Herald, Feb. 7

For more “Best of the Web” click here and look for the “Best of the Web Today” link in the middle column below “Today’s Columnists.”