Taranto’s Bye-kus
Extras! — Posted on February 12, 2016
A haiku is a Japanese poem that has three lines, with the first line containing five syllables, the second line containing seven syllables, and the third line containing five syllables again.
James Taranto of The Wall Street Journal has created the “bye-ku” – a haiku used to say ‘bye’ to a candidate as he or she exits the race. The following are the bye-kus he has written thus far:
They called him “four eyes”
Until he got glasses. Then
They called him “eight eyes”
(Sept. 14, 2015)
Bye-Ku for Scott Walker
Does he wish he had
Answered hypotheticals?
He isn’t saying
(Sept. 22, 2015)
Bye-ku for Jim Webb
I once killed a man
He’s not around to talk to
Hey! I want more time!
(Oct. 20, 2015)
Bye-ku for Lincoln Chafee
Don’t judge till you’ve walked
One point six kilometers
In his granite shoes
(Oct. 23, 2015)
Bye-ku for Larry Lessig and Mark Everson
If we wrote haikus
For these guys, we’d have to write
Gary Johnson one
(Nov 11, 2015)
Bye-ku for Bobby Jindal
Trump is a madman
This is no laughing matter
Here, have a juice box
(Nov. 18, 2015)
Bye-ku for Lindsey Graham
He found his calling
But had to get a new phone
Trump had his number
(Dec. 30, 2015)
Bye-ku for Ben Carson
Politics is hard
It’s even more difficult
Than brain surgery
(March 3, 2016)
If no one hears when
A tall tree falls in winter
Does it make a sound?
(Dec. 30, 2015)
Bye-ku for Mike Huckabee
The Arkansan who
Joked about his wife yellin’
Was not Bill Clinton
(Feb. 2, 2016)
Bye-ku for Martin O’Malley
Can Donald Trump beat
A generic Democrat?
Now we’ll never know
(Feb. 2, 2016)
Bye-ku for Rand Paul
Boycotting debates
Proves to be an uncertain
Path to victory
(Feb. 3, 2016)
Bye-ku for Rick Santorum
At last, he can rest
Secure in the knowledge it
Was not the sweaters
(Feb. 4, 2016)
Bye-Ku for Chris Christie
Mr. Roboto
Domo Arigato. I’m
A kamikaze
(Feb. 10, 2016)
Bye-ku for Carly Fiorina
When the demon sheep
Meet the big bad wolf, there won’t
Be another ewe
(Feb. 11, 2016)
Bye-ku for Jim Gilmore
The band is playing
The executioner’s song
Sorry, wrong Gilmore
(Feb. 16, 2016)
Bye-ku for Marco Rubio
No AI breakthrough
A political machine
Failed the Turing test
(March 16, 2016)
James Taranto of The Wall Street Journal has created the “bye-ku” – a haiku used to say ‘bye’ to a candidate as he or she exits the race. The bye-kus above were written by James Taranto. Reprinted here for educational purposes only.