Join the Club

Michael Jordan, Tiger Woods, Derek Jeter

The following is an excerpt from OpinionJournal’s “Best of the Web” at The Wall Street Journal written by the editor, James Taranto.

Breaking News From 1832
“France’s Young Protesters: Whatever It Is, They’re Against It.”—headline, Washington Post, April 23

Breaking News From 1983
“No Chance of NATO Expansion for Years, U.S. Ambassador Says”—headline, Reuters, April 22

No Wonder His Accent Doesn’t Sound Indian
“Trump Uses Fake Indian Accent”—headline, TheHill, April 22

Join the Club
From an ESPN feature on golfer Tiger Woods:

The…bravado hid his awkwardness around women. One night he went to a club in New York with Derek Jeter and Michael Jordan. Jeter and Jordan circulated, talking with ease to one beautiful woman after another. (Both declined to comment about the episode.) At one point, Tiger walked up to them and asked the question that lives in the heart of every junior high boy and nearly every grown man too.

“What do you do to talk to girls?”

Jeter and Jordan looked at each other, then back at Tiger, sort of stunned.

Go tell ’em you’re Tiger Woods, they said.

It sounds easy, but in our experience, that doesn’t always work. Meanwhile, the Washington Post reports:

Sri Sri Ravi Shankar, an Indian guru known best for his Art of Living foundation, which has a vast global community of followers, claims to have attempted to start peace talks with the militants of the Islamic State. But his efforts proved futile.

“I tried to initiate peace talks with the ISIS recently but they sent me a photograph of a beheaded body of a man,” he told Indian media, using another name for the extremist organization. “Thus, my effort for a peace dialogue with the ISIS ended.”

The advocate for meditation and harmony offered this frank conclusion: “I think the ISIS does not want any peace talks. Hence, they should be dealt with militarily.”

He should have told ’em he was Tiger Woods.

For more “Best of the Web” from The Wall Street Journal’s James Taranto click here.