Famous Last Words

The following is an excerpt from OpinionJournal’s “Best of the Web” at WSJ written by the editor, James Taranto.

Famous Last Words
“People have been predicting the end of the world for thousands of years in recorded history, and not a single time has that come about.”—astronomer Mark Hammergren, quoted by CNN .com, Sept. 28

Out on a Limb
“Perhaps normalcy will reassert itself. Perhaps there will be no government shutdown. Perhaps Kevin McCarthy will become speaker and will be able to control his troops. Perhaps Joe Biden won’t run, and Hillary Clinton will beat back Bernie as other favorites have beaten back other upstarts. Perhaps the GOP finalists will be, as they normally would be, Jeb Bush and Marco Rubio and Ted Cruz. Perhaps we’ll have a normal general election that will look like recent ones. Or perhaps we’ll have more weeks like the last one, a political season full of surprises, and an election cycle unlike any we’ve seen in quite a while.”—William Kristol, WeeklyStandard.com, Sept. 26

An Anxious Nation Holds Its Breath
“Should Miley Cyrus Wear Dreadlocks?”—headline, Los Angeles Times, Sept. 27

Look Out Below!
“Planned Parenthood Protesters Throw Condoms at Carly Fiorina Supporters”—headline, ABCNews .com, Sept. 26

It’s Always in the Last Place You Look
“Estonian Musician Finds Her Voice Digging in the Library Stacks”—headline, Washington Post, Sept. 27

News of the Tautological
“Must-See TV Shows You Can’t Miss This Fall’—headline, Huffington Post, Sept. 25

Breaking News From Genesis 2:18
“Bronx Nominee for D.A. Would Be First Woman”—headline, The Wall Street Journal, Sept. 26

Merry Whatever 
Only 88 days left, and already there’s a war on. Elizabeth Bruenig of the New Republic notes that Donald Trump, speaking at last week’s Values Voter Summit, said he dislikes it when store clerks say “Happy holidays” instead of “Merry Christmas.” Bruenig then accuses Trump of hypocrisy, noting that he tweeted about “holidays” in 2012 and 2014.

Then she explains what this is really all about:

People like Trump . . . prefer “Merry Christmas” to “Happy Holidays” not for specifically religious reasons, but because “Merry Christmas” informs people that they are on English-speaking, Christianist [sic] turf, where the people in charge all celebrate Christmas in a decidedly American way. People who aren’t celebrating Christmas or who do so in an unfamiliar way are supposed to feel unwelcome when they hear it.

Ha ha, get a load of those dumb conservatives, policing language to signal political affinity. Wonder where they got that idea!

For more “Best of the Web” click here and look for the “Best of the Web Today” link in the middle column below “Today’s Columnists.”